The New Two Thousand and Whatever!

So here we are, a little older, a little fatter and a little richer yet still none of it matters. Do you ever stop to wonder what happened? We were young, once. We didn’t really make the most of our youth, hell we didn’t have to… time was on our side. And now I look back with a slight sense of remorse, maybe when time was abundant I should have made the most of sh*t? I really don’t want to become one of those older guys that trys to fit everything in.

So as I sit on the edge of 2008 twittering, I realise that my remorse as been eaten by a bigger fatter determination to make the most of things. Yep this is bigger and meaner than the 2007 determination, this time it is here to not only play ball but hit it completely out of the park.

Current gripe: I have a female friend. I include her in a lot of what I do and yes, we used to date. I sense bitterness as I am constantly getting reminded of what a prick I was while we dated. Not sure what this is in reference to as I don’t feel I was any different, I think perhaps it is more a perception thing from her end? (typical male thing to say) The funny thing is I think she is lovely. Sometimes a little self absorbed which leads her to often be a tad mean but I only ever have good things to say about her (except for the previous statement.) Here is where it gets odd… Who the Fuck is she kidding?! We weren’t friends before we dated, so if I was such a prick during our relationship why remain friends after? I am definitely not forcing it. And I am happy to admit I love having her in my life. Why is it so difficult for her to do the same? Where is her integrity?

I find more and more lately that integrity is falling to the wayside. Be honest… sure it will make you vunerable but it will also open you up to potentially the greatest moments in life. Have an opinion, believe what you believe because you can! It will pay off. I am tired of people not being themselves because of pressure to conform. I bought a summer scarf the other day. It’s a motley green colour and I wear it out at night. I like it. So far my friends think its silly, many think definitively gay? (not that gay is a bad thing). I was out downtown Auckland on a very quiet post New Years Friday night and one of the most attractive girls I have ever seen (we are talking Halle Berry-esque) walked past and double took… she touched it, looked me in the eye and in a completely classy, non-sleezy way said “I love your scarf!”. One of my friends went and brought a similar scarf last week. Moral (if there could possibly be one here...) be yourself.

So for 2008… Don’t give up on your dreams… integrity above all… and if there is anything you are unhappy with dedicate those parts of your life to change!

It is a given that we are all going to delete a little more Spam, learn a few more texting abbreviations, get a little wiser, notice a few more stars, buy something we don’t need, laugh at someone else’s awkward moment, have a kiss that means something and a dream that makes us panic but actually means nothing. So enjoy every moment.

//TD.

Who is Anti Starbucks?

It’s the big white elephant of the post millennial era. Is it a problem? Whatever the Fu*k it is, it’s big! Almost too big to start worrying about, that is of course if you see it as an evil corporate. More and more close friends of mine are starting to proclaim that they are Anti Starbucks. I think it must be seen as cool today to be anti something mainstream. The problem with this is that when it becomes the mainstream to be anti something mainstream, does it carry the same weight on the cool-o-meter?

I have started getting into the habit now of asking people that proclaim to be anti something… why? With Starbucks, this is where my frustration starts. “The coffee is sh*t!” is by far and wide the number one response. This is crap. OK I can understand how someone who has 3 coffees per day from the top Ponsonby café’s can taste the difference. These are the coffee freaks that can pick their brand out of a blind taste test line up and even tell what kind of grass the cow that gave their milk for this coffee was eating! These people worship good coffee and generally they find themselves drinking coffee at café’s that are attached to the roasteries and have highly trained barrista’s.

AS FOR THE REST OF YOU… Come on! Starbucks is mostly better than your average. They use decent beans, they have technology in play to ensure good steaming of the milk, they even have vast training for the bubbly staff that are making the coffee. Starbucks is not some burnt-coffee-burnt-separated-oversteamed-sour milk establishment. They have not become the global powerhouse by serving a shitload of venti dishwaters!

If you are going to be anti Starbucks at least be honest say “Sure it’s good coffee, but it’s expensive and overpriced and not as fully ‘fair trade’ as they claim” as you sip your alternatively branded half the size but half the price cup of coffee in your $300 diesel sneakers and your $420 italian denim jeans!

I like the nice things as much as the rest of them but I just like what I like? I am honest about what I do and don’t like. I admit I like the Killers but I am also not afraid to admit that I liked Justin Timberlake as an artist before he went solo. I like the film Cinema Paradiso but I will also admit I like Stallone’s Driven! And I don’t like Robert Harris. I love Allpress Espresso but I still drink Starbucks. So move over wankers honesty is the new snobbing! Vented.

//TD

Where the Fu*k am I?

Ever had one of those moments of lucidity where an uncomfortable truth is realised? Lately I get them more and more frequently. They come the same way I imagine a contraction would and likewise they slowly start to become more regular. I fear that maybe soon my thoughts will dialate and I will give birth to a new direction, new beginning, probably redesign a new future?

I guess all this stems from questions. I have just hit my 30’s and I have; no financial security, no true fulfilment of what I always thought I would be, and a short string of girlfriends that don’t mean that much to me? My biggest success and most rewarding realisation is my portfolio of friends. I have loads of friends who have known me for a very long time. Most of the friendships I have invested in are 15 – 20 years matured. I have really cool ex-girlfriends also. They have all stayed in frequent contact which some think is odd but I enjoy, as they are all great people with a lot to offer hence why we dated in the first place. I think they have a deep respect for honest dudes too? Hmmm, except for one… but that’s another story.

One of my closest friends is having a baby soon. His priorities are pretty much the complete opposite of mine. He has the woman of his dreams with a kid on the way and he has worked extremely hard to pay off his debts to start with a clean slate for his wife and soon to be baby. This I admire. Looking in the mirror I don’t have the woman of my dreams. I have a vague notion of what she will be like but have yet to have a connection worth spending a lifetime with. I am confident however that it will happen. I have debt, primarily credit cards whose statements read like a restaurant and bar guide to Auckland. I buy a lot of shit too, gadgets that I don’t need, clothes that cute shop assistants say looks fantastic but I never have the balls to wear, and watches. Did I mention I have a timepiece addiction?

I like to drive nice cars no matter what the cost and live in a flash pad which means renting over buying. The only aspect about my personality that seems to ‘throw down’ against my hedonistic approach to life is the fact that I worry about things like the environment and get highly frustrated when my inner city apartment living neighbours fu*k up their recycling!

Well comparatively I don’t know whats better? I like to think I have fun and not take life too seriously however my moments of realisation are often weighed down with guilt. I know too that I would completely change my lifestyle and financial situation once the woman of my dreams enters my life.

I guess I do feel like I am behind the eight ball a wee bit but at least it's still on the table. I haven’t lost yet… I don’t know if I am quite winning either though? Only time will tell. I still have time for a comeback and I tend to be pretty good at those.

So where am I? I still don’t know but it often tends to have a sticky floor and smell like a brewery! Time to be more pure and stable perhaps, like the beautiful white mac I am typing this on. Vented.

//TD

A Lost Voice

I have lost my voice. And I don’t mean in the same way you lose your voice after a big night out on the 42 Below and Dunhill blues. I mean, I feel like I have something to say and no one to say it to? Hence this blog.

I live in Auckland, New Zealand, so any international readers probably think that this particular blog will be about as relevant as wearing jocks under lined swimming trunks. But I am going to try and keep things fairly universal… you know the drill “same sh*t, different city.”

When did people get so material? I am by no means guilt free, Fu*k I think I pretty much sold my soul about the same time I spent six hundred bucks on a pair of Prada sunnies? The fact that we as suggestible/seducible consumers are conditioned to want a whole lot of crap we don’t need obviously means that some overpaid advertising creative (who can afford to eat the kind of sushi that doesn’t require the cheap splinter riddled pull apart chopsticks or the minuscule squeezable soya sauce) is doing their job pretty damn well. So well that the devil himself probably wants to invite them to the exclusive Friday night after work drinks in the fiery depths of hell.

I think if Sprite tried to tell us today “Thirst is everything, Image is Nothing” their sales would laugh them right out of the supermarket and megamart chillers. Our generation is driven by desire. Necessity has fallen to the wayside. Were our grandparents ever like this? Perhaps this whole notion of desire is the single strongest catalyst to blame for our other current growing obsession with celebrities? Guilty again!... even as I was writing that statement I couldn’t help but think how cool being the effortless ‘never seen to be working’ Vincent Chase would be even if only for a day.

Well, it is what it is. As much as I dislike it and loathe myself for my own buy-in, I will continue to wear my Pradas, drink my 24 Below, occaisionally smoke my Dunnie blues and always buy Italian shoes. Wait… the last one is necessity. Consider me vented. I am guilty myself of the exact sh*t that I spurn so I can only assume that this blog is complete projection. For today anyway. Am I irritable?... more irritable than a 16 year olds shaving rash.

//TD